Friday, February 19, 2010

I Ask The Brady Campaign To Help

I have written to the Brady Campaign for some help. Here is my letter:


Mr. Paul Helmke
Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence
1225 Eye Street NW
Washington, DC 20005

Re: Candidate RatingSystem

Dear Mr. Helmke,

Inspired by the tea party movement, I am seriously considering running for office. However, since I have no prior legislative experience, I'm writing to find out how I can apply for the coveted "F" rating from the Brady Campaign. I think the "F" rating is important to my expected campaign.

Could you please send me an application so I can formally request the coveted "F" rating. In support of my application, my campaign philosophy will recognize that the best way to prevent gun violence is to arm law-abiding citizens. Criminals should fear the law abiding citizen, not the other way around. I will promise to introduce or support legislation along the following lines:

• A well regulated militia being essential to the security of a free state, I will support or propose a tax credit for the purchase of assault weapons and for the purchase of training in the use of small arms.

• Measures that would make ammunition and range fees tax-deductible, it being in the public interest that all citizens be well-trained in the use of firearms, including safety and proficiency.

• A federal prohibition on microstamping along with a specific federal preemption to prevent the states from adopting this foolish, expensive monopoly technology.

• 50 state reciprocity for concealed carry permit holders.

• Elimination of bans on possession of weapons in federal buildings and on airplanes, in a sincere belief that terrorists will be more intimidated by the prospect of ordinary citizens stopping them than they are be by being assured that their fellow passengers are defenseless.

• Modifications to the federal weapons disability laws to permit gun possession by non-violent felons and rights to apply for and obtain relief from the disability upon appropriate showings of a history of non-violence.

• Mandatory gun safety and shooting classes in public schools, including handgun and rifle training, coupled with elective courses on the public benefits of harvesting excess deer.

• Abolition of the ATF.

Surely these simple measures, all of which are just, reasonable, and appropriate for enactment are sufficient for me to earn your coveted "F" rating.

When you issue your "F" rating, do I get a certificate? Could we do a joint press release?

I look forward to your favorable response.


David Carroll

Do you think they will help me?


Redleg said...

That was classic!!!

opaww said...

You got my vote

Anonymous said...

EXCELLENT! Where do I send a campaign contribution? And, to head off the inevitable confusion over my internet handle, I am a 47 year old grandmother residing in the Socialist Republic of California ;-)

NorthBridge said...

Loved it. Gonna link this one to my blog.

Anonymous said...

DICK ACT of 1902 . . . CAN'T BE REPEALED (GUN CONTROL FORBIDDEN) The Trump Card Enacted by the Congress Further Asserting the Second Amendment as Untouchable
The Dick Act of 1902 also known as the Efficiency of Militia Bill H.R. 11654, of June 28, 1902 invalidates all so-called gun-control laws. It also divides the militia into three distinct and separate entities.

The three classes H.R. 11654 provides for are the organized militia, henceforth known as the National Guard of the State, Territory and District of Columbia, the unorganized militia and the regular army. The militia encompasses every able-bodied male between the ages of 18 and 45. All members of the unorganized militia have the absolute personal right and 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms of any type, and as many as they can afford to buy.

The Dick Act of 1902 cannot be repealed; to do so would violate bills of attainder and ex post facto laws which would be yet another gross violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights. The President of the United States has zero authority without violating the Constitution to call the National Guard to serve outside of their State borders.

The National Guard Militia can only be required by the National Government for limited purposes specified in the Constitution (to uphold the laws of the Union; to suppress insurrection and repel invasion). These are the only purposes for which the General Government can call upon the National Guard.


The Funeral Guy said...

Great letter. I'm sure you will post the response that will be coming after Hell freezes over.

Pawpaw said...

Great letter and I would support any candidate that ran on that platform.

However, with all respect due to Funeral Guy, as a life-long citizen of Louisiana, I have to remind him that the Saints won the Super Bowl and hell has, in fact, frozen over.

Witness the five feet of snow in Washington.

Gender Silliness