Do you think they will help me?
Mr. Paul Helmke
Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence
1225 Eye Street NW
Washington, DC 20005
Re: Candidate RatingSystem
Dear Mr. Helmke,
Inspired by the tea party movement, I am seriously considering running for office. However, since I have no prior legislative experience, I'm writing to find out how I can apply for the coveted "F" rating from the Brady Campaign. I think the "F" rating is important to my expected campaign.
Could you please send me an application so I can formally request the coveted "F" rating. In support of my application, my campaign philosophy will recognize that the best way to prevent gun violence is to arm law-abiding citizens. Criminals should fear the law abiding citizen, not the other way around. I will promise to introduce or support legislation along the following lines:
• A well regulated militia being essential to the security of a free state, I will support or propose a tax credit for the purchase of assault weapons and for the purchase of training in the use of small arms.
• Measures that would make ammunition and range fees tax-deductible, it being in the public interest that all citizens be well-trained in the use of firearms, including safety and proficiency.
• A federal prohibition on microstamping along with a specific federal preemption to prevent the states from adopting this foolish, expensive monopoly technology.
• 50 state reciprocity for concealed carry permit holders.
• Elimination of bans on possession of weapons in federal buildings and on airplanes, in a sincere belief that terrorists will be more intimidated by the prospect of ordinary citizens stopping them than they are be by being assured that their fellow passengers are defenseless.
• Modifications to the federal weapons disability laws to permit gun possession by non-violent felons and rights to apply for and obtain relief from the disability upon appropriate showings of a history of non-violence.
• Mandatory gun safety and shooting classes in public schools, including handgun and rifle training, coupled with elective courses on the public benefits of harvesting excess deer.
• Abolition of the ATF.
Surely these simple measures, all of which are just, reasonable, and appropriate for enactment are sufficient for me to earn your coveted "F" rating.
When you issue your "F" rating, do I get a certificate? Could we do a joint press release?
I look forward to your favorable response.
Friday, February 19, 2010
I Ask The Brady Campaign To Help
I have written to the Brady Campaign for some help. Here is my letter:
For a eulogy of Ted Kennedy for the rest of us, go to The Funeral Guy .
Entertaining. Sophomoric, maybe. But it is satirical commentary by two Washington Post political commentators, Dana Milbank and Chris Cill...
Does this remind anyone else of last night's debate?